Review Round-Up: December

Happy holidays everyone! These will be my last reviews of the year before I post my "Best Of" Superlatives, Top Ten of the year, and most anticipated of 2019. I just want to say thank you to all my readers out there! I may not be writing as frequently as I once did, but I have been super busy! Whether you're reading this in a waiting room or on your laptop or sitting on the toilet - I hope you enjoy!

Aquaman

Dir. James Wan

Aquaman, with his gaudy orange and green costume and ability to talk to fish, has sort of been the laughing stock of DC Comics characters for a long time. But in the latest DCU film from director James Wan, Jason Momoa ups the character's "cool factor," making him a hulking, tatted-up surfer bro with a Rob Zombie beard. Simultaneously embracing Aquaman's innately silly concept while giving the character a "badass" revamp, this latest superhero flick does do a considerable job bringing the character to new places - but the story of this half-breed Atlantian/ human and his adventures trying to unite the surface world and the water world is a mostly incomprehensible, CGI-filled mess with cringe-worthy acting and insane plot devices that make no sense at all (this movie argues that, yes, dinosaurs are alive and well, living in the Earth's core).

Final Verdict:

SKIP IT

At Eternity's Gate
Dir. Julian Schnabel

At Eternity's Gate is definitely not your traditional biopic. Depicting Vincent Van Gogh's final years (the crazy, "cuts his ear off years") in a collage of dizzying POV camerawork, disjointed editing, and a whole boatload of "walking through fields" montages, the film feels decidedly more experimental than we're perhaps used to seeing in this kind of movie. Although I appreciated its approach and Willem Dafoe really inhabits the character (to the point that he actually learned to paint), the end result, I thought, was headache-inducing!

Final Verdict:
SKIP IT

The Favourite
Dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

Director Yorgos Lanthimos has carved a niche for himself in the film world making very offbeat, bizarre movies usually about people not being able to connect with others. But while his films like The Lobster and Dogtooth I find perplexing and detached in a good way, I found his historical drama The Favourite to be largely unpleasant.

Detailing the goings on of Queen Anne and her two servants vying for her power, every character in this movie is completely unlikable. In fact, Lanthimos seems determined with this movie to make everything as obnoxious as possible, from the ear-piercingly annoying music score, the ugly fish-eye camera lens, the long and tedious scenes that go on forever, and the characters whose company you don't want to share with - even on the screen. I don't know why critics are lapping this one up, but The Favourite is definitely NOT one of my favorites this year!

Final Verdict:
SKIP IT

Green Book
Dir. Peter Farrelly

For those who know me well, they know that my unabashed "favorite" movie is Dumb and Dumber, which I will defend as one of the greatest movies about friendship ever made. Although Peter Farrelly's slapstick comedy reputation may have made his involvement in this dramatic story of segregation in the 1960s seem like a left turn, the underlying theme of friendship still rings true. Telling the story of how a tough-talking Italian-American bouncer and an African-American concert pianist developed an unexpected bond, Green Book is heartwarming, funny, dramatic, and a definite crowd-pleaser.

Final Verdict:
SEE IT

Halloween
Dir. David Gordon Green

The timeline on the Halloween series is extremely complicated, so I'll spare the details - but Halloween (2018) basically disregards everything about any sequels or remakes and presents itself as the "true" follow-up to John Carpenter's original classic. Featuring a post-traumatic Laurie Strode and a tipped transport bus resulting in a loose Michael Myers, this movie is pretty much exactly what you expect it to be. Competently made, but forgettable, Halloween is just another tired entry into the slasher genre.

Final Verdict:
WAIT FOR NETFLIX

Mary Poppins Returns
Dir. Rob Marshall

To a much less effective extent, Mary Poppins Returns follows the same formula presented in another live-action Disney sequel, Christopher Robin. They both follow the original characters now grown up, having lost the "magic" in their lives - but they soon embrace their inner child when their magical friend comes to visit yet again (either a talking teddy bear or a flying housemaid). The reason why Mary Poppins Returns didn't have the same effect on me is that it feels trapped in the spirit of the 1960s original film. Although I give kudos to the team behind the film for its lively and beautiful choreography and the fact that it's entirely made up of new songs (no nostalgia-pandering to the recognizable hits), it still feels like a stale, outdated reproduction of the original.

Final Verdict:
WAIT FOR NETFLIX

The Mule
Dir. Clint Eastwood

Although The Mule is a Clint Eastwood movie about a man getting involved as a driver for a Mexican drug cartel, those expecting more of a typical Eastwood action-fest may be disappointed. Instead, The Mule is more of a deliberately-paced character study of a man whose last attempt at redemption for his family, after years of neglect and a failed flower business, is down a dark destructive path (not unlike Breaking Bad). This movie is tense and funny in parts, but mostly it's a well-crafted, bleak portrait of an old man coming to terms with all of his life's failures.

Final Verdict:
SEE IT

Ralph Breaks the Internet
Dir. Rich Moore & Phil Johnston

Six years after the events of the first film, the lovable "bad guy" Ralph and his glitchy fellow misfit Vanellope are still besties living inside video arcade machines. However, their friendship is tested when the arcade is outfitted with wi-fi and they travel to the World Wide Web. Vanellope finds her passion in a hardcore racing game while Ralph wants to stay behind in his old world.

This Disney sequel is sweet, hilarious, clever, imaginatively animated (the world-building in these movies always blows me away), and provides a lot of insight into cyber-bullying, viral video culture, and long-term friendships. Disney just keeps casually releasing great films - with Moana, Big Hero 6, Zootopia, Frozen, and Tangled, we're definitely in some kind of Disney renaissance!

Final Verdict:
SEE IT

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Dir. Peter Ramsey, Bob Persichetti, & Rodney Rothman

The first-ever animated Spider-Man film, Into the Spider-Verse literally feels like it's bringing a comic book to life before your eyes. Using seemingly every animation style and trick in the book, this is easily one of the best-looking comic-book adaptations ever made. The story centers around teenager Miles Morales, who becomes the new Spider-Man, but he soon learns of the existence of many others who share his powers as multiple universes start to converge. The story moves a mile a minute, and so much happens in such a short time that you really don't have a moment to check for plot holes. Instead, Into the Spider-Verse is a thrilling, fresh, constantly-stimulating piece of animated entertainment that is oozing with so much cool style and a lot of fun, likable characters.

Final Verdict:
SEE IT

They Shall Not Grow Old
Dir. Peter Jackson

This archival documentary from director Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings), I believe, is one of the great technical achievements in film this year (or maybe this decade). The film, exploring the day-to-day life on the front of WWI through the voices of soldiers that were actually there, restores 100-year-old footage using state of the art technology to make it seem like it was shot yesterday. Using a painstaking process of colorization, re-recording sounds, and cleaning up the film negatives, They Shall Not Grow Old can be a moving experience that literally brings history to life like you've never seen before.

Final Verdict:
SEE IT

Vice
Dir. Adam McKay

Much like with The Big Short, with Vice Adam McKay is taking a piece of contemporary history (in this case the rise in power of vice president Dick Cheney) and attempts to make a kind of weird fourth wall-breaking comedy/drama out of it. However, unlike The Big Short, Vice fails at creating an interesting narrative. This movie relies on the audience's pre-existing hatred of Cheney, without really providing any kind of character development for him (whereas you look at a film like The Mule - about a "bad guy" - and it makes you at least understand him on a deeper level).

While Christian Bale does an amazing job at bringing a larger-than-life attitude to a man mostly known for being inexpressive, quiet, and calculating, the performance alone isn't enough to elevate this scattershot, tonally unclear bore.

Final Verdict:
SKIP IT