BEST ACTOR - Robert Pattinson, Good Time
Not in a million years did I think Robert Pattinson would deliver my top performance of the year, but 2017 was full of surprises. In Good Time, the Twilight heartthrob is practically unrecognizable as Connie Nikas, a small-time crook, part-time scumbag who is the primary caregiver for his mentally handicapped brother, Nick. Although he loves him, Connie can't help but involve Nick in his crimes, leading to some intense consequences for both of them.
Essentially playing a modernized version of George from Of Mice and Men, Pattinson's character is a hot mess of contradictory impulses. He's both sympathetic and a scoundrel, street-smart yet ignorant, pathetic and brave, likable and deplorable. Yet all of his decisions, however misguided, are always made out of love for his brother. It's truly a complex role. I don't know where this Pattinson has been hiding all this time, but I welcome more of him.
Runner-Up: James McAvoy, Split
Had M. Night Shyamalan miscast his lead for Split, it very well could have ended up being the most cringeworthy performance of the year. Instead, he cast the best possible person: James McAvoy. Playing a master manipulator with a split personality disorder (23 personalities to be precise), McAvoy can at one moment be the playful 9-year-old "Hedwig" and the next an uptight woman "Patricia," wearing heels.
It's a testament to McAvoy that he was able to convincingly transform into these personalities so convincingly, changing everything from his posture to his speech patterns. I thought for sure that this would be Razzie material going in, but damn if McAvoy didn't somehow pull off one of the most intense and mesmerizing performances this year!
Honorable Mentions:
Justin Chon, Gook
James Franco, The Disaster Artist
Hugh Jackman, Logan
Algee Smith, Detroit
Aaron Taylor-Johnson, The Wall
Worst Actor: Robert DeNiro, The Comedian
One of Robert DeNiro's best-ever performances was as failed comedian Rupert Pupkin in Martin Scorsese's The King of Comedy. Because DeNiro himself was not an experienced comedian, his inability was authentic. However, with The Comedian he's supposed to play a washed-up pro with years of experience, which results in one of the most awkward movies of his career. It's like watching your dad try stand-up.
BEST ACTRESS - Aubrey Plaza, Ingrid Goes West
In addition to playing one of my favorite TV villains this year on FX's Legion, Aubrey Plaza also takes my top spot for "Best Actress" for her fantastic work in Ingrid Goes West. She plays an obsessed, mentally unsound Internet stalker, hellbent on becoming "besties" with a seemingly perfect Instagram celebrity, moving to Hollywood and manipulating her way into her life.
Plaza is willing to go to lonely, dark places in a role that's both fragile and terrifying. She perfectly tows the line between socially awkward humor and deep, sad loneliness with a character searching for a connection in some horribly misguided ways. A complicated role to pull off, Plaza has continued to surprise me as of late, showing her chops beyond the droll, eye-rolling characters she often used to play on shows like Parks and Recreation.
Runner-Up: Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
Margot Robbie plays controversial ice skater Tonya Harding exactly how you'd want: with a rebellious, unapologetic attitude and the most poofiest 80s hairdos imaginable. Robbie's wide-ranging performance shows Harding from ages 15 to 40, bringing an amazing energy to the character.
At times hilarious and others deeply tragic, she's filled with complicated emotions: in love with the husband who abuses her, in constant contention with her hardass mother (brilliantly played by Allison Janney), and filled with rage at the judges who evaluate her less for her skill and more for her "redneck" attitude. The film is interestingly not so much concerned with the "truth" of her story, but rather the truth of her character, and in that manner it works like gangbusters.
Honorable Mentions:
Jessica Chastain, The Zookeeper's Wife
Lily Collins, To the Bone
Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water
Melissa Leo, Novitiate
Garance Marillier, Raw
Worst Actress: Annabelle Wallis, The Mummy
See this expression? This uninterested, deadpan expression? It's the face that Annabelle Wallis sticks to throughout the entire run time of The Mummy. Doesn't matter what she's doing: running away from mummy zombies, bantering with Tom Cruise, learning earth-shattering plot information - you can bet it will be met with this same dead-eyed stare. Wallis is a much, much better actress elsewhere - even in relatively shlocky movies like Annabelle - which leads me to believe she was directed to be this bad!
BEST MUSIC SCORE - King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Daniel Pemberton
At least some good came out of Guy Ritchie's big budget flop. The movie failed to win over audiences and critics, but the music score for King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is surprisingly great. It's so good that I found myself listening to the score more than paying attention to the actual story. Pulsing tracks like "Growing Up Londinium" integrate heavy breathing into the music to accentuate scenes of action. "The Darklands" is an amazing "final boss"-sounding hellscape with screeching guitars that may as well be chainsaws revving for the kill. And the chugging beat of the main King Arthur theme is fantastic as well. This is a score that has a lot of classical elements, but Pemberton is fearless to experiment heavily with its instrumentation and a heavy rock sound. It's too bad the movie doesn't live up to this score!
Top Tracks:
1. "Growing Up Londinium"
2. "The Darklands"
3. "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword"
Runner-Up: Good Time, Oneohtrix Point Never
Good Time's entirely electronic music score is in-your-face, brain-melting goodness. It fits perfectly with the intensity of the film, evoking the static-y jolt of adrenaline that you'd get from robbing a bank. Each track has a feeling of underlying panic, providing a constant thrumming, drug-induced beat to this amazing movie.
Top Tracks:
1. "Flashback"
2. "The Acid Hits"
3. "Romance Apocalypse"
Honorable Mentions:
Battle of the Sexes, Nicholas Britell
A Cure for Wellness, Benjamin Wallfisch
A Ghost Story, Daniel Hart
The Snowman, Marco Beltrami
Star Wars: The Force Awakens, John Williams
Worst Score: IT, Benjamin Wallfisch
This might be controversial, because I actually enjoy listening to this score on its own. But why I gave IT the "worst score" award is because it detracted from its film more than any I've seen this year. Broadcasting every single scary moment before it happens, Benjamin Wallfisch bangs you over the head with clanging "BWAAM" cues to assure the spoon-fed audience that yes - this is a "scary" scene. Very disappointing considering his atmospheric, eerie soundscapes from the underrated A Cure for Wellness proved that he can make a damn fine horror score. I'd argue that even the IT TV movie from the 90s had a better, scarier score (in fact, I listed it as #4 on my Top Horror Soundtracks post way back in 2011).
BEST SONG - "The Pure and the Damned" from Good Time
This song plays during the final scene and over the end credits. I won't spoil what happens, but I will say that this song fits perfectly with what's going on and has a deeply melancholic, somber tone. It's basically Iggy Pop channeling late-era Johnny Cash and the results are haunting. The repeated line of "The pure always act from love / The damned always act from love" is poignant as the main character continuously makes terrible decisions, but mostly in a misguided effort to help his mentally handicapped brother. Mix Pop's gravelly vocals and meaningful lyrics in with the electronic sound waves from Oneohtrix Point Never, and you've got a damn fine song.
Runner-Up: "I Get Overwhelmed" from A Ghost Story
The high concept art film A Ghost Story follows around a musician's ghost (depicted as a floating sheet with eye holes) as he wanders around the land of the living through time. It's a beautiful film that uses this song - which the character wrote for his girlfriend - as a sort of thematic, melancholic bridge to her after his death. Written by the same guy who composed the equally ethereal music score, "I Get Overwhelmed" is a moving and haunting (pun intended) piece of music!
Honorable Mentions:
"Love and Lies" from Band Aid (BEST LYRICS!)
"California Dreamin' (Latin Version)" from The Belko Experiment
"Run That Race" from Cars 3
"Un Poco Loco" from Coco
"Everybody Knows" from Justice League
Worst Song: "Papa Mama Loca Pipa" from Despicable Me 3
Those god DAMN minions! Every corner you turn, they're still everywhere. And with this "tune" from the latest Despicable Me hot trash sequel the little yellow demon-spawn incomprehensibly mutter annoying gibberish to the tune of "I Am the Model of a Major General" from the opera The Pirates of Penzance.
BEST POSTER - Mother!
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| Happy Valentine's Day! |
Runner-Up: John Wick: Chapter 2
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Honorable Mentions (Click to View):
Kong Skull Island (Ape-pocalypse Now)
Kong Skull Island (Mountain Ape)
It
The Lost City of Z
Wonder Wheel
Worst Poster: Snatched
This is one of the laziest posters I've ever seen. That ugly plain red background looks like a placeholder for the "real" background. The tagline, "This is the closest they've been in years," also holds an inherent irony because it's clear from this poster that they were Photoshopped to appear together. And for a comedy, there's practically nothing here to make you laugh. This poster is just an unimaginative, ugly mess!
BEST TRAILER - IT (Teaser Trailer)
When it was first released, the IT teaser trailer broke the record set by Fate of the Furious for the most views within 24 hours (197 million). Although that record has since been broken by Infinity War (230 million), the IT trailer remains a great little nugget of horror. Setting the stage for the characters, set pieces, and mood of the film, this trailer modernizes the iconography of Stephen King's story and the popular TV adaptation to great effect. A clown in the sewer, an out-of-control slide projector, and Bill's nightmarish reunion with his brother are some of the creepy images highlighted here. IT went on to become the highest-grossing horror film of all time, due in no small part to this terrifying trailer!
Runner-Up: A Cure for Wellness (Teaser Trailer)
Director Gore Verbinski was in the running to direct an adaptation of the video game Bioshock but it unfortunately fell through. However, I have to imagine that some of the retro, nightmarish imagery he was planning to use in that film he put into A Cure for Wellness. Living up to his "from visionary director" credit, this trailer hauntingly showcases some of the disturbed, creepy imagery of Verbinski's spa-from-hell world. I love the forboding vibe and slowed-down version of "I Want to Be Sedated" - this is a fantastic trailer that whets the appetite without giving the plot away.
Honorable Mentions (Click to Watch):
Alien: Covenant
Detroit (Trailer #2)
It Comes at Night
Logan
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Red Band Trailer)
Worst Trailer: 9/11 (Trailer #1)
Now, I have not seen 9/11, as it was in theaters for all of one week, but if the trailer is any indication it's the movie equivalent of burning garbage. Dialogue cuts out abruptly, there's an incredibly awkward use of slow-mo, and worst of all, this trailer casts many comedic actors in straight-faced tragic roles. It's almost offensively cringe-worthy, proving that you need an amazing director like Peter Berg or Paul Greengrass to successfully and respectfully recreate major tragedies on screen.
"ROTTEN, MY ASS!" AWARD - The Belko Experiment (52%)
It seems that in recent years, the "Tomatometer" on Rotten Tomatoes is the public's go-to barometer for if a movie will be any good, replacing the Siskel and Ebert "Two Thumbs Up" of yesteryear. However, sometimes the critics' consensus seems to unfairly malign great movies, and for whatever reason I thought 2017 was one of the worst years in recent memory for that. Of course, opinions are subjective, but I'd highly suggest to give the following movies a chance!
The top spot goes to The Belko Experiment. Written by James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy), this twisted take on workplace ethics is essentially Office Space meets Battle Royale. About 80 workers become pawns in a most dangerous game when they're trapped inside their office building. A voice on the intercom says that two workers must be killed within 30 minutes, with more ultimatums to follow. I loved how this movie tackles human nature and the decisions we make under stress. It's an over-the-top, bloody satire that may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I loved it!
Runner-Up: The Discovery (45%)
I don't know why it's cool to hate on this Netflix movie - I thought it was great! This sci-fi drama is about a scientist, Dr. Harbor (Robert Redford), who proves that the afterlife exists. This information has profound implications for society, and now mass suicides are happening around the globe. Others, like Harbor's son (Jason Segel), stay alive to try to decide what it all means. I love these kinds of sci-fi movies that make you think while being entertaining. Really not sure why people ripped on it.
Honorable Mentions:
The Book of Henry (21%)
A Cure for Wellness (41%)
The Glass Castle (49%)
Wilson (48%)
Wonder Wheel (32%)
Should Have Been Rotten: Free Fire (67%)
"Pointless" is the word that comes to mind with Free Fire. It's essentially just a 1.5 hour gunfight in a warehouse after an arms deal goes wrong. There's barely a thread holding the story together, and the action is completely indecipherable thanks to some terrible editing (director Ben Wheatley wanted to edit this "live"). To say Free Fire is the poor man's Reservoir Dogs is a disservice to poor men. It also completely wastes a great cast including Armie Hammer, Cillian Murphy, and Brie Larson, fresh off her Oscar win for Room.
BEST MOVIE ANIMAL - Caesar from War for the Planet of the Apes
It's rare when a human actor is able to have a satisfying three-film arc with the same character, let alone a CGI talking chimp. But through the advances of motion-capture technology, Andy Serkis is able to imbue his character Caesar with as much humanity as you'll find in any other performance this year. He plays Caesar as the rebellious leader of the apes, wrestling with his dark instincts so as not to become his enemy. The emotion and pure ape-like physicality of the performance is incredible, and I think most people (including Oscar voters) underestimate the amount of talent and nuance that goes into it. We've come a long way since those rubber masks!
Runner-Up: The Cats of Istanbul from Kedi
Kedi is a documentary made for cat-lovers. In Istanbul, thousands of cats roam freely, wandering in and out of people's lives, living the line between wild and tame. The doc crew follows a handful of these kitties, and they all have distinct, fun personalities (for instance, Sari is a bit of a kleptomaniac, while Dumi is a foodie, often found hanging around the gourmet deli). Considering how unpredictable cats can be sometimes, especially feral cats, it's simply amazing the footage that director Ceyda Torun got!
Honorable Mentions:
Banana-stealing Chimps from Jane
Fred, the One-Eyed Cat from Gifted
Okja the Super-Pig from Okja
Pepita the Spirit Guide from Coco
Porgs from Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Worst Movie Animal: Doghan Daguis from Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
While Luc Besson's sci-fi epic was filled with amazing aliens and creatures, these ones fell a little too far on the creepy side. Looking like three duck-billed, impish children with bat wings, it's almost like the result of someone randomly fiddling with the "character generator" on a video game. I find the "Doghan Daguis" unsettling and would rather not think of their gross, elongated facial appendages.
BEST ACTION SCENE - Atomic Blonde, Stairway Fight
The overall movie was pretty 'meh,' but the stairway fight in Atomic Blonde is jaw-droppingly good. It appears as a single, long take of Charlize Theron kicking ass for 7 straight minutes, and it's glorious. Unflinching, kinetic, and brutal, for hand-to-hand combat scenes it's up there among the best in my book. It almost makes up for the fact that Theron was relegated to sitting behind a computer for the entirety of Fast and Furious 8!
Runner-Up: Baby Driver, Opening Heist
What makes the action scenes in Edgar Wright's Baby Driver so much fun is that they fit so well with the soundtrack. Because "Baby" requires music at all times to concentrate, the film likewise is edited alongside the tunes. The opening car chase in Baby Driver, set to the song "Bell Bottoms," is an amazing example of sound and image married together, with no CGI used!
Honorable Mentions:
The Fate of the Furious, One Statham and a Baby
John Wick: Chapter 2, Hall of Mirrors Shootout
Logan, Compound Assault and Limo Escape
Wonder Woman, "No Man's Land" Sequence
xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Donnie Yen Sliders
Worst Action Scene: The Mummy, Mr. Hyde Tussle
I'm not even sure this qualifies as an "action" scene, but this scuffle between Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe in The Mummy is pretty damn lame. Basically, Crowe throws Cruise around a little bit while taunting him in a thick Cockney accent. The "choreography" is like watching a couple drunks brawl in a pub. This scene is where I mentally gave up on the Dark Universe.
WORST MOVIE - The Mummy
Universal had big plans to resurrect many of their beloved horror characters in a Marvel-esque "Dark Universe," but The Mummy pretty much single-handedly killed that idea before it even had a chance. This is one of the most joyless, cynical big budget movies I saw this year, not working as either an action or horror film. There's a lot of unwarranted, boring exposition, dull characters, sexist humor, and a cringe-worthy assumption that the audience wants more of this.
The Mummy doesn't even seem to know what tone it's going for - it's neither scary or fun. The 1932 Mummy was an atmospheric horror classic and the 1999 Mummy was a thrilling adventure with great characters, but the 2017 Mummy is an empty corpse of a movie that belongs buried in a tomb (or at least at the bottom of the Walmart discount bin).
Runner-Up: Transformers: The Last Knight
You can more or less copy and paste my same sentiments for The Mummy here. The Last Knight is also exposition-heavy, sexist, cringe-worthy, has dozens of loose ends and plot holes, and there's again the assumption of many more films to come. While I ironically enjoyed watching this movie at points due to its sheer insanity (Anthony Hopkins cursing at tourists is pretty surreal), it's undeniably a terrible movie. Pure unadulterated junk!
Dishonorable Mentions:
High Low Forty
The Hitman's Bodyguard
Justice League
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Sharknado 5: Global Swarming
"Best" Worst Movie: xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Sometimes you can recognize a movie as being objectively terrible, but still love it. xXx: Return of Xander Cage is a silly, over-the-top action movie that is so clearly a vanity project/mid-life crisis for Vin Diesel, so caught up in 90s-era cliches, so unbelievably scripted, and so hilariously clear that a stunt double was used for Vin that it somehow transcends its badness and becomes a fun guilty pleasure. I think it's an injustice that the Fast and Furious franchise continually gets a pass while this flick got swept under the rug. Fans of so-bad-they're-good action movies need to check this one out!
BONUS: BEST TV SERIES - The Keepers (Netflix)
If you want a series that will open your eyes and piss you off, check out the Netflix original documentary, The Keepers. Beloved high school teacher and nun Cathy Cesnik was murdered in 1969, and although her case remains unsolved, that doesn't mean there aren't still people fighting to find out the truth.
Telling Cesnik's story through conversations with friends, relatives, journalists, officials, and more, this doc had me continually wrapped up in the mystery, unable to keep myself from binging the next episode. I'll be thinking about this story for years to come. The Keepers is one of the most heartbreaking, infuriating, and engrossing "true crime" documentaries I've ever seen!
Runner-Up: Big Little Lies, Season 1 (HBO)
I watched this HBO mini-series over the summer, but after Hollywood's recent "cleaning house" of predators, Big Little Lies feels even more relevant. Based on a best-seller by Liane Moriarty, this series takes place in an upscale neighborhood in California, where seemingly everyone leads "perfect" privileged lives. However, soon this romanticization of marriage, sex, parenting, and friendship is shattered. Told through the perspective of three women (played by Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, and Shailene Woodley), Big Little Lies is an addictive, funny, dramatic show full of twists and great performances.
Honorable Mentions:
American Vandal, Season 1 (Netflix)
Baskets, Season 2 (FX)
The Confession Tapes (Netflix)
Master of None, Season 2 (Netflix)
Nathan for You, Season 4 (Comedy Central)
... and I'm still processing my thoughts on Twin Peaks: The Return 😎
Worst TV Series: American Horror Story: Cult (FX)
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| Yes, that's Evan Peters with Cheeto dust on his face, worshiping Trump |
BONUS II: BEST STAND-UP SPECIAL - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas & The Age of Spin (Netflix)
Netflix has really spoiled us this year not just with their top-notch original series, but also by being the best current platform for stand-up comedy. The brilliant Dave Chappelle simultaneously released two new specials on Netflix, and both were just as insightful, absurd, and hilarious as could be expected.
With these specials, Chappelle focuses his material more on himself - self-analyzing his reactions to social and cultural events, even if they aren't "politically correct." His gutsy breakdown of the Bill Cosby allegations and their effect on him as a black comic was amazingly handled - perfectly articulating his feelings without disrespecting the victims. The specials have gotten mixed reviews due to some of their political content, but if you're able to appreciate a comedian even if you don't necessarily agree with all of his world-views, The Heart of Texas and The Age of Spin are damn funny.
Runner-Up: Judah Friedlander: America is the Greatest Country in the United States (Netflix)
Judah Friedlander looks like the kind of guy you'd see exiting a dirty truck stop bathroom. But under his unkempt appearance lies a brilliant comedian, as shown in his low-fi, no frills, joke-a-minute Netflix special America is the Greatest Country in the United States. Shot in black-and-white, it's just a dude in front a brick wall telling jokes. Classic, simple, pure comedy. Friedlander brilliantly takes serious topics and spins them into absurdity so everyone can enjoy it, no matter what your stance is. This special also features some of the best crowd work I've ever seen in a routine.
Honorable Mentions:
Kurt Braunohler: Trust Me (Comedy Central)
Neal Brennan: 3 Mics (Netflix)
Bill Burr: Walk Your Way Out (Netflix)
Louis CK: 2017 (Netflix)*
Patton Oswalt: Annihilation (Netflix)
* I'm not sure I'd be able to enjoy re-watching Louis CK's special now, but 2017 was a great set. I debated whether or not to put 2017 as even an 'honorable mention,' and I hope it's not in poor taste, but I do think the material can stand on its own merits despite CK's real life exploits.
Worst Stand-Up Special: Jim Gaffigan: Cinco (Netflix)
What happened to Jim Gaffigan? At one point he was one of my favorite comedians, but ever since he's become a pope-friendly family man with five kids, his material's gone way downhill in my opinion. The same stale, repetitive "food" shtick is wearing thin at this point, and he's totally lost his edge since self-identifying as a "clean" comedian. As a long-time fan of the guy, this is probably Gaffigan's weakest special yet.
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I hope you enjoyed reading this lengthy blog post a year in the making! I think it's a fun way to look back on the year in movies before my "Top Ten" list puts a cap on 2017 for good. I'll be posting that list in the very near future along with my most anticipated movies of 2018. In the meantime you can check out this Spotify playlist of all the music referenced in this post!
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