TOP TEN: Horror Remakes

This weekend a remake of the great campy vampire flick Fright Night arrives, so in anticipation of that (planning to see the film on Tuesday, expect a review!), I've decided to list off my top ten horror remakes - of course limited to both those of which I've seen and those that I consider a horror movie (King Kong and The Mummy fall more under action) AND a remake (one could argue Evil Dead 2 is a remake, but I left it off since it is typically defined as a sequel).


10. House of Wax (2005)

So horror remakes always seem to suck, therefore audiences typically groan and loathe the sight of a familiar property set to be rehashed for a quick dollar; when it was announced that Paris Hilton, of all people, was to star in the remake of the beloved Vincent Price classic House of Wax, a palpable level of hate had already manifested in most people.  It’s too bad many cinema-goers couldn’t get past the terrible-at-first-glace feeling because I personally found this to be a genuinely creepy and thrilling film.  And I don’t see where the Paris Hilton haters (aka the majority of the population) are complaining, because she dies a graphic and glorious death in this one. 

9. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

The Invasion of the Body Snatchers property is not shy with remakes, with a total of three altogether.  Even though I have yet to see the 1993 version, the Donald Sutherland 1978 remake is my favorite of all the ‘Invasion’ films.  The special effects are well done, and still I have yet to see a film repeat some of the plant-like visuals [especially at the beginning].  Plus there are so many familiar faces in here, including a young Jeff Goldblum, Spock himself Leonard Nimoy, and Kevin McCarthy, essentially playing the same role he played in the original Body Snatchers as a raving lunatic screaming at cars.

8. Piranha 3D (2010)

Ok, so this may not be the highest caliber of filmmaking here, but it’s a wild, fun ride and the end of the movie is pure relentless killer fish madness.  The movie knows exactly what it is, so it doesn’t take itself too seriously.  With a brilliant cameo by Christopher Lloyd, a sky-high body count, and three-dimensional severed genitals eaten by a fish, it’s an amazing X-Rated Gremlins with fins.

7. Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie had created two films that I consider among the best in contemporary horror pictures with House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects, so for him to handle a Halloween remake was at least a little calming seeing as at least he understood the genre.  Although the second half of the film feels a little too much like the original, I do think Zombie created a remake worthy to have been made.  The white mask wearing, silent killer Michael Myers had been driven to the ground with countless sequels and heavy merchandising, but Rob managed to bring some scares back into the series.

6. The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Another Alex Aja production [dir. of Piranha 3D], this remake takes the original film and cranks it up to 11.  I’ll never forget when I saw the film upon its release, in a packed theater, after the first big scary scene, a nameless member of the audience commented loud enough for the rest of us to hear: “This movie’s FUCKED.”  He sure had that right.  This movie came out right at the perfect time when I was first really getting into horror movies, and the film’s location and atmosphere and freakazoids all had my brain lighting up in freakish excitement.  

5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

This one gets a LOT of hate from remake naysayers, but I personally find this film a great addition to the Chainsaw series.  R. Lee Ermey is fantastic as the town cop, and with so many weird characters (that fat lady was creepy as hell) and scary moments, I can’t see why all the hate (although I do suppose it may be because this film was kind-of sort-of what kick-started this tidal wave of horror remakes we’ve seen for the past ten years…but that’s just a thought).  

4. Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Although the idea of running zombies totally disgraces the idea of George Romero’s living dead series and what zombies are in general (that is, rotting undead corpses), I can forgive Zack Snyder’s remake because it’s a total crazy scary thrill ride!  From the first scene it’s clear the film will be intense, and it has possibly one of my favorite opening credits sequences of all time.

3. The Ring (2002)

This film is on the list due to the fact that it really freaked me out when I first saw it – specifically when we get to see what’s on the videotape.  All it took for me to shit my pants was a lady combing her hair and looking directly over her shoulder at ME.

2. The Thing (1982)

What can I say?  Really it’s just some of the best damn special effects of all time.  Kurt Russell is great, John Carpenter is great, Rob Bottin’s creatures are great.  

1. The Fly (1986)

If you haven’t seen this film, go out and see it.  It’s a classic that surpasses the original by so much that when I think of The Fly, I immediately think of Jeff Goldblum and his escapades with teleportation.  A science fiction horror tale that will remain a favorite.



Thank you for reading, and I hope whoever out there reading this will feel free to comment, leave your thoughts, and read my other entries!  Also, please leave feedback if you would like to see more of these "top ten" lists! - P. Waters