The November Man
Dir. Roger Donaldson
I always really liked Pierce Brosnan's James Bond; even if the films weren't the greatest, I think he just nailed that suave super-spy attitude better than most of the other Bonds. So I pretty much saw The November Man purely because I was feeling nostalgic for seeing Pierce Brosnan do spy stuff, as I'm sure most people seeing this are. Though the film isn't a complete disaster, I have to say, this was just a total mediocre destined-for-the-5-dollar-bin cliche-fest. There aren't any unique action scenes, all the bad guys are generic Russian dudes, and apparently every woman in a spy film has to look like America's Next Top Model.
The story follows Peter Devereaux (Brosnan), a retired CIA agent, who's being recruited for one last job (yup, here we go again). He has to protect a witness, but lo and behold, his ex-partner David Mason (Luke Bracy) is now after his former "mentor" because of information he has. Basically there's a mole somewhere in the agency, and Brosnan is on his own to find the truth. This is just a completely throwaway movie. The only redeeming quality of the whole thing is Brosnan's acting the crap out of a badly written part. I didn't feel any sense of tension or thrills throughout this whole thing. It was just kind of dumb. There's a moment where a character explains what 'The November Man' means: it's because when he passes through, everything dies. Yup, everything dies, especially my interest.
Rating: C-
As Above So Below
Dir. John Erick Dowdle
There have been so many "found footage" horror movies recently I've lost track - at this point it's simply become it's own subgenre, if you can even call it that. As Above So Below, a fright flick set in the underground catacombs in Paris, is directed by John Erick Dowdle who's no stranger to the format, having directed Quarantine, the American remake (literally shot-for-shot) of REC. But this film takes a slightly different approach - it's pretty much a cross between The Descent and Indiana Jones. The story follows a group of explorers, led by a young archaeologist (Perdida Weeks), who hired the team to go into the catacombs and tunnel to where she believes is hiding the Philosopher's Stone (yes, the same one from Harry Potter), which legend says grants eternal life. And of course, things don't go as planned and it's all conveniently captured on camera.
Even though the story is pretty piss poor and the script does absolutely nothing with its characters other than set them up for scary moments, I still found this movie mindlessly entertaining in the same way you'd walk through a really freaky haunted house. The characters are simply going deeper and deeper into these cavernous tombs, and it might as well be the cinematic equivalent of a walk-through haunted attraction. It definitely doesn't break much ground (well, it literally breaks ground, but not in the "inventive" sense of the word), the story is minimal, and scary things pop out with little to no explanation. The genre conventions are in full swing (including the token black guy, the obvious "you shouldn't go down there" pitch black doorways, and that one guy who warned everyone but still came along anyway), but at least it featured a different setting other than "creepy house" or "the woods." It's a wholly unique and interesting location with its own history, and the actors do a good job of believably selling their fear. All in all, for this type of movie, not the best, not the worst.
Rating: B-
What If
Dir. Michael Dowse
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Canadian director Michael Dowse's What If (alternately titled The F Word everywhere but the US and UK) made a minor debut at the Toronto International Film Festival, a quaint, predictable, but well-crafted romantic comedy starring...Harry Potter. Yes, Daniel Radcliffe, whose childhood life of stardom couldn't boast any less of an "everyman" quality is playing an everyman. After coming off of one of the most successful movie franchises in history, you'd think it would be tough to "buy into" his performance, but What If, if anything, is a testament to how good of an actor Radcliffe has become, totally selling the movie alongside his co-star Zoe Kazan (the granddaughter of legendary director Elia Kazan, whose face has been popping up in quite a few indie flicks). Although What If may follow its genre conventions a little too closely, I found its snappy dialogue and authentic central relationship to make up for it.
Based on a play called Toothpaste and Cigars, the film follows a prototypical "nice guy" named Wallace (Radcliffe), who drops out of med school when his girlfriend dumps him. When his buddy Allen (Adam Driver - soon to be in Star Wars Ep. VII) invites him to a party, he reluctantly goes and while fidgeting with refrigerator word magnets meets Chantry (Kazan), a prototypical "nice girl," and sparks fly. That is until Wallace learns that Chantry is already in a serious relationship with a successful guy named Ben (Rafe Spall), and the movie is basically the social struggle these two young people go through, not being able to really say what they want to say. It's a pretty light film, like I said, but the actors are likable enough that you care for the characters, and I didn't feel an inauthentic beat in the whole movie - besides one overly slapstick-y gag involving a character falling out of a window for comedic effect.
Rating: B
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